Why cant i stand up? Cause i shat my pants

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wanna hear a joke?... Womens rights

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Why was my teacher depressed? Because she wanted to live in her pasta

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Q: How do you fit a giraffe inside a refrigerator? A: You can't, it is physically impossible...

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whats stupid and likes dumb jokes? you.

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what do you call a dead baby in a blender? child abuse

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What turns red and explodes in a microwave A cat

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How did the happy clown die? Testicular Cancer.

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why did Max cry??? chicken

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What would you call the Flintstones if they were black? N*ggers.

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A bar walks into your mother.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? It wasn't. Numbers don't have emotion.

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Mean while... at Jerry Sandusky's house

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A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

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[Enter Funny-Anti Joke Here] [Enter Retarded Answer Here]

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no u

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Women's rights

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I don't often drink beer. But when I do, I recklessly beat my wife and kids.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimers Who are you?

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why did the chicken cross the road? why do you care?

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? A Derrick Rose jersey.

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Teen pregnancy

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Jingle bells, batman smells, robin laid an egg.

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A man is walking down the street when, on the other side, he see's another man, with what appears to be an orange for a head. Unable to contain his curiosity, he approaches and enquires: "Excuse me, but I couldn't help noticing that you have you have an orange for a head..." "That's right" says the man with an orange for a head. "I met a magical genie one day who granted me three wishes..." "Amazing" says the first man, "Please continue". "Well, for my first wish, I wished I was incredibly rich, and that every day, I woke up in a four-poster bed full of used bank notes, and a statement with twenty zeros". "Did that happen?" askes the first man. "It did indeed", replies the man with an orange for a head. "I'm probably the richest man in the world". "Amazing!" replies the first man. "What did you wish for next?" "For my second wish, I wished to be incredibly attractive to women, and that every day, in my four poster bed full of money, when I awoke, there would be three of the most beautiful, naked women imaginable." "Wow! Did THAT happen?" "Of course! To be honest though, that gets a bit of a bind - walking around is a bit difficult these days, in fact, I'm on my way to pick up some cream." "No way, that's amazing!" says the first man. "What was your third wish?" "Well..." replies the man with an orange for a head, "For my third wish, I wished I had an orange for a head."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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