A small child and a pedophile are walking hand-in-hand through the dark, creaky woods. "Mister," says the small child, " I'm scared." "YOU'RE scared?" says the pedophile. "I'M the one who's gonna have to walk back alone!"

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Why don`t women need watches? Because in our modern society, there are many clocks in most locations.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs after he got into a fight with his cat? You call him by his name and apologize for leaving catnip on his head.

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What do you call a deaf person whom is behind the wheel of a car about to run off a cliff? ....

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Why did the basketball player shoot the ball? Because it was being mean to him

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knock knock who's there? julian julian who? julian gonzalez

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yo mama's so ugly, it affects her self esteem.

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What is 69? A number that is before 70 and after 68

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Three blondes walk into a community college.

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How do you punish Helen Keller? Set a restriction on something she enjoys that is equal to the degree of her misbehavior.

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What is the main contrast about different banks? None, they all take your money!

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Q: Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? A: Because she is a woman.

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How do you make a clown cry? You kill his family and chop off his legs.

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What smells like marjuana and is black? A black man smoking weed

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How many rats live in a llamas stomach? the cats pajamas

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What call a black man flying a plane? A pilot you racist.

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Why can't penguins fly? ......It is against their evolutionary state.

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Why didn't the black man pay for his child support bills? He made some unwise financial decisions in the past and is working three part time jobs just to stay afloat.

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Q: What's funnier than 24? A: 25.

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Dr. Dick Howard Long visits a friend in England. Arriving at his friend's house, he knocked at the door. A butler then lets him in and asks, "Sir, would you like to wait while the Master bathes?" The doctor then replies, "Sure thing, I'll wait until he's done."

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What do you call a black guy flying an airplane? A pilot.

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What did Lady Gaga say to Justin Timberlake? "I love the Backstreet Boys!" Justin Timberlake Replied with a Bazooka.

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What happened when the girl did the splits? She lacerated her vagina.

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A police man, doctor and stage actor walk into a bar. They're identifying the corpse of the stage actor's brother.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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