What's 5+7? Piccillo

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What did one baby say to the other? Nothing, they were both killed in a building collapse.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? As this question does not provide neccesary information, a plausible answer cannot be found.

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Penis.

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What did the black father say to his daughter? you're adopted

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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Why did the woman have sex with the man? Because she is over 18, which is above all of the legal consent ages in the United States.

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Of two wrongs don't make a right what do they make? I don't know but three rights make a left

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What do you call a box with a dead Jew in? A coffin.

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knock knock your gay

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What's small, yellow and great with numbers? A yellow calculator

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How are eagles and jellyfish the same? They both fly but jellyfish don't.

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Why did the white guy feel awkward at the black people convention? He didn't know anyone there

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What kind of parrot can't mimic human voices? One that's just had it's vocal chords illegally harvested and sold on the black market

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Going for the Dislike record woot I farted!

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no u

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You have AIDS, I'm very sorry

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KEVIN HART

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Little Timmy walked up to the teacher and asked her "Can i go to the restroom?" The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you ?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "No, thats only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

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How do you make a baby eat his food? Make one first

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What do you call a Mexican named Chicee? Chicee

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Roses are red Violets are blue Little billy was annoying me But he can't anymore Because now he's dead In a burlap sack In the back of my truck And it's really bloody back there

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i said why are you disliking me he said its anti joke

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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