There was an old man from Limerick. He was of scottish ancestry and nearing his 76th birthday.

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If I crash my car, how many trees does it take to cover my yard in orange juice, yellow, because a cat pissed on my foot.

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Why did the dad buy his son some ice cream? He didnt, his dad is dead

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Why did the Nazi not help the black man up after he had been badly injured? The Nazi was in a wheelchair.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? Because he got hit by a truck

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What did the fox say to the blonde? "Hello". The girl then captured the fox and sold it to the government.

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What do you call a guy who acts straight but is really not? Verl.

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what do you call a stupid chav? Gifted

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A man went into a bakers to buy a loaf of bread. The baker said 'What can i do for you sir?' The man said 'Id like a loaf of blue bread please.' Baker replied 'Sorry sir we only sell brown or white here.' 'Thats ok.' said the man, 'I have my bike outside.' [This joke was made up by myself and my school friends in 1975 age 15. We all told it for years - i still do - and cried with laughter whenever we heard it. We called them non jokes :-) ]

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Not the World Trade Center.

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Why does my friend pick up trash? Because he is a garbageman

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A handicapped man rolls into a bar. He buys a drink, talks for a while, and rolls out.

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What is black, white, and red all over A penguin in a blender

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You know what's sad about the Special Olympics? Even of you win, your still retarded.

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whats worse then a paper cut, the holocaust, whats worse then the holocaust, two paper cuts

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What ticks like a clock and has numbers on it? A clock.

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What is an anti-joke? This is.

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Why did tigger look in the toilet? Because he dropped his phone fell in.

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How many black guys does it take to change a lightbulb? None can, since noone can work together because they cant see eachother.

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Why do black people eat at KFC? Because KFC serves good food at reasonable prices.

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How do Chinese people name their kids? The couple discuss possible names and then pick the one that they feel suits the child best.

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"Knock Knock" "Whos there?" "Its Adolf, we're going to camp."

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Hello I'm a fat kid

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dad; were is ur head son; its on my neck duh

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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