Ask me if I'm a peanut. Are you a peanut? Yes. Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? No, I'm a peanut.

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Q: Why didn't the chicken cross the road. A: because he's a chicken?

why didn't bobby eat breakfast? because i stapled his head to the floor

You know what's sad about the Special Olympics? Even of you win, your still retarded.

When life gives you: High Fructose Corn Syrup,Citric Acid, Ascorbic Acid,Maltodextrin, Sodium Acid Phosphate, Magnesium Oxide, Calcium Fumarate, Yellow 5, Tocopherol, and less than 2% natural flavours... Make lemonade.

A boss walks into a bar and hires the first man he sees. He fires everyone else, no matter what their occupation.

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poker Face.

Your Mom

what do we want a cure for turrets! when do we want it C U NT !!!

Who lives with josh moran? A gay asian

killing a baby and putting it in one bucket is one thing... but killing a baby and putting it in ten buckets is just insensitive

why did the parakeet eat the cracker? because it wanted to.

French people

A jew went to Germany.

Why did little Susie light herself on fire? Answer: She wanted to be warm

What is worse than falling into a pit of needles? being lit on fire and then falling into a pit of needles I imagine

Guy 1: Yo dawg Guy 2: DID yOU JUST FUCKING CALL ME A DOG>/?>/???? Guy 3: Yea

Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog.

Q:Why did the chicken cross the road A:Why does everyone want to know it's just a chicken

Friends and Potatoes are similar...if u eat them try die.

What did the black kid get for Christmas? Your TV

What's worse than 100 babies tied to a tree. 1 baby tied to 100 trees

Your mom is so fat she has to buy clothes at a Plus-size clothing store.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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