What did the kettle say to the pot? Nothing, inanimate objects can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the bird say to the squirrel? Chirp

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: Why happened to the dead whale? A: It was shot by Asian pochures.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

gesss what happen u promis not to tell anyone ok this is what happen !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOTHING

thumb_up thumb_down +13

two muffins are in an oven. 30 min. later i ate a delicious treat.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the blue man say to the purple lady? Do you want to make purple.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why do horses read books? We are all doomed...

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How do you beat someone in a video game? You win it.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

In the beginning God created the heavens and the Earth. He then created the water, the sky, land, sea creatures, land creatures and humans. He rested.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What iz stupid? Hibiyav

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's black and hangs from my tree? A black man. I am a racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

potato farming

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What does D.N.A. stand for? Deoxyribonucleic Acid

thumb_up thumb_down +7

... and so the rabbi says "Don't worry. It was a kosher pickle anyway."

thumb_up thumb_down +7

The new pickup line. The human body has 206 bones in it. I have broken one of them, please take me to a hospital.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What'd the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Just Dance 2 the video game

thumb_up thumb_down +7

*via text message* Me: Hey Trevor! You at home? Trevor: This is Trevor's mom. Trevor committed suicide today.. Me: OMG! Why?!? Trevor: Because when I gave him a glass of water, it had 3 ice cubes. Trevor doesn't like odd numbers.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

sixty....eight.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

whats worse then finding out your girlfriend cheated on you.. -9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Whats the worst part about being fat? Your fat.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Whats the difference between a black man and a white man? Their skin color

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What is brown and sticky? The substance used to line your stomach when getting your stomach pumped.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a man who gets off the train at Willoughby? Dead

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops