Wanna hear a joke? My penis size.

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I asked the librarian for a book on suicide. She said "I'm sorry we don't have those in stock." So I just hung myself.

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What happens when you eat all the strawberries? They are GONE...

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the immigrants.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Chuck Norris' cheese

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Why did the bird fall? It was an ostrich

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what do you call a shoe with legs? roadrunners.

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When life gives you: High Fructose Corn Syrup,Citric Acid, Ascorbic Acid,Maltodextrin, Sodium Acid Phosphate, Magnesium Oxide, Calcium Fumarate, Yellow 5, Tocopherol, and less than 2% natural flavours... Make lemonade.

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What did the prostitute say to the cop? What? I can suck your dick for free Mr. Officer

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Dani Barton is a heart breaking 13 yr old.

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What ticks like a clock and has numbers on it? A clock.

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How many times does it take a blond to start a car? Usually once; however, the weather may have an impact how well the engine will spark.

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My mother-in-law is so fat that I sometimes worry my wife will look just like her after she gives birth.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poker Face.

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Knock! Knock! Whose there? Chris Chris who? (There was never a response. Leaving the man to wonder who Chris was... Was it his high school buddy Chris? His former colleague? That guy who filled his propane tank down at the gas station? Was that guy's name even Chris-or was it Craig? Craig, it was definitely Craig.)

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Q:What kind of pizza did the World Trade Center order? A:Two Plains

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Who lives with josh moran? A gay asian

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Why do black people eat at KFC? Because KFC serves good food at reasonable prices.

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what did one toilet say to the other toilet? i would love to flush u

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Q:When a terrorist attack happened what did the woman with the 1 leg say? A: HOP for your lives!!!!

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What is worse than falling into a pit of needles? being lit on fire and then falling into a pit of needles I imagine

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What did the man do when he saw the dog? Ran it over

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how do you confuse helen keller? you put her in a room full of naked men and tell her that they are really candy canes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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