How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Who knows? They all just sit and bitch about it.

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Babies are like landmines; when you step on them they explode.

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A Mexican, A Jew and a Irishman walk into a grocery store...The Mexican buys some bread, the Jew buys some bread... and the Irishman buys some bread.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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What do you call a black guy flying an airplane? A pilot.

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Why didn't the depressed girl go on facebook? She was dead

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A man. That is all.

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Why did the little boy die? Because he had cancer.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimers Who are you?

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What did the dead baby say to his mother? Nothing. He's dead.

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Why did the chicken attempt to cross the road? To retrieve his dead relatives in the middle of the street.

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you know what they say about people with big feet, they have big feet...

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Why dose not the cat bark? Because it's a cat!

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Q: I am an over-protective father looking for my son who was kidnapped and am suddenly traveling with a mentally retarded woman who cant remember her name. By the way my wife was murdered and my son has physical disorder. Then, im hooked up with a hippy who doesnt care about anything. Who am I? A: Marlin the clownfish (from Finding Nemo).

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four people walk into a maze with a billion dollars in the middle.the people are santa clause, the easter bunny, a smart mexican, and a dumb mexican. Who gets the money. oviously the dumb mexican gets it. why you ask. because the other three are not real.

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why did the rooster cross the road? because it was stapled to the chicken

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What do you call a kid with a peg leg and an eye patch? Names

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How many no-armed amputees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

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Why didn't the 34 year old woman fit into some size 14 jeans? Because she was size 16.

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How did the people get into the pyramid?? They didn't

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Two young men ignoring societies expectations of them and instead choosing to play the sport they enjoy the most.

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Q: What's funnier than 24? A: 25.

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Why did a guy with schizophrenia does it take to walks into a bar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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