why did hannibal lector butter up the teacher? he wanted to get a good grade. he also wanted to eat her

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because after death the body loses control of muscles and the monkey could no longer grasp the branch with his tail

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*Hands women baby* Women: Hes so beatiful! I'm going to love him forever! Doctor: Its not yours, yours died.

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your momma is so stupid she failed math class

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What's funny about a Jew, a Muslim, and a Christian going over the edge of a bridge in the same car? Nothing, they all died

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a fat man eats porkchops all day ling shit a just craped my pants

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minced oaths

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A black man, an Asian man, and a white man are stranded in the wilderness after their plane crashed. The black man has a flashlight, the Asian a bottle of water, and the white man a can of beans. They put their racial differences aside to increase chance of survival but were eaten by a pack of coyotes.

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Jacob Black and Edward Cullen show up at your house. You tell your best girl friend and she has you admitted to a psych ward because everyone knows they are fictional characters!

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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? Fish

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What's brown, hairy and goes up and down? A kiwifruit in an elevator.

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Why was the woman convicted or arson? She set her house on fire. Why did she set her house on fire? Her husband was beating her.

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Why did the kid get athsma? Genetics.

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whats white and sticking?... glue, you dirty bastard

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a park bench? The Mexican is alive and the park bench isn't.

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What do you call a black kid on a bike ? Dirt bike

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Why did the todler fall over? He's an iraqi child and has ben shot inboth legs being readied fro public excution for fighting on the opposing side a.w. j.p.

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A black man, an Asian, a Jew, and an American all jump off a building. Unfortunately, they all died on impact and their families will mourn for years to come.

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What do a baker and gynecologist have in common? They can smell it, but they can't eat it.

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What happened to the kid who slept on a roof? He died

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what do you get when you cross a daniel lesiak with nothing? Answer - A gay homosexual

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Whose there? A chicken.

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why couldnt sally help timmy pick up his ice cream? she had no arms

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How many beans are in a soup? Who cares i'm starving, Lets Eat!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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