What did the deaf, blind, poor orphan get for Christmas? Cancer

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Knock knock *No one was home*

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why did the mexican cross the road? to catch its bus on the other side

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a man sees a monkey playing the drums at first he thought it waz the guy in the monkey suit that plays the drums but on closer inspection he sees that it is in fact a real monkey on that note he tries to befriend the monkey but the monkey soon tore the man into pieces

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How do you make a business man cry? Hit him in the face with a brick

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What's red and creeps up your leg? A homesick abortion.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Orange What? Orange Who the hell are you and what do you want? Orange I am calling the police if you do not get off my doorstep in 5 seconds you a$$hole

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What do you call a black man digging a hole in the ground with a body covered in blood, bruises and stab marks next to him? An gardener, he uses a different type of fertiliser.

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Why did the plane crash? I don't know. I wasn't on the plane. Its likely, based on the damage, that everyone on board died and therefore couldn't tell you either.

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What do u call a gay guy with a long dik Dickgimme a lick

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Why was the man arrested? He had brutally stabbed 398 people in a 10 hour period.

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Guy 1: Yo dawg Guy 2: DID yOU JUST FUCKING CALL ME A DOG>/?>/???? Guy 3: Yea

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A fellow walks into a bar very down on himself, so he goes into the bathroom and hang himself from the pipes.

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Why did little Johnny eat his homework? Because his family is very poor and he rarely eats.

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Small titties.

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Hummer.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean? SOL.

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Wanted: A tall, well built woman with good reputation, who can cook Frog's legs, who appreciates a good Fuc- shia garden, classical music and tal- king with out getting too serious. Now read only lines 1,3, and 5

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A UNIX guru walks in to a restaurant and asks for day's special. Waiter responds "tartar steak." UNIX guru thinks that "steak.tar.tar just doesn't make any sense" and responds "I'll just have tar steak."

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WTF BOOOOOM

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What is big, red, and eats rocks? Big Red that eats rocks. -For Abel

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Milk, milk, lemonade, around the corner fudge is made. This market has a very dynamic and fresh selection.

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Why did the girl go over her texting limit? She had a hot boyfriend.

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Hitler is my role model

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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