Why couldn't the boy see his sick mother? Because he was blind

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What would you do if you're eyes just suddently exploded? You would never see again.

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Why did the airplane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Dementia Dementia who Knock, Knock

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Hey are you from Tennessee, 'cause you have a very nice accent.

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Q: Ask me if I'm a tree. A: No, I am not a tree.

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Roses are red violets are blue this poem make no sense microwave.

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Abstract thinking part one of... One: What kind of idiot tries to run trough a wall, rather than to just use the door? The "Idiot" is in a cell whose walls are made of thin wood plates, the door is made of steel and locked. How I cured my own damn anxiety five hundred of one: Now this is real see? I got stressed, damn it was like something that was not me but my body scared as shit began fearing for its life right my arms shaking like fuck sweat and all that crapa? So I got pissed got in front of the mirror, stared at myself and shouted "GODDAMN BODY YOU THINKS YOU CAN CONTROL ME? IF YOU DO NOT STOP BEING SO FUCKING AFRAID OF DEATH! THEN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!" So yeah unconventional indeed, but it worked for five times, and I never had to use it anymore. Moral: My own body and every fucking cell of it, is not the only one that fears me more than death.

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what does a nazi and the witch from hansel and gretal have in common, they both put people in ovens.

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Why would anyone try to run from a fight if:Its not the size of the dog in the fight, its the size of the fight in the dog? I wasn't even talking about dogs and fight isn't something in you! Next time, don't listen to your football coach.

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Wy did Bryan eet his Dumbelllle? Anderson fell asleep again

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Hellen Keller went to town, riding on a pony, stuck a feather in her hat and called it ERRMMMMM UAHHHHHHHH...

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why don't you make like a tree. and get out of here

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was thrown out of the way

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Why'd Sam run away Because charlie bit his finger

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Why did the man known to his neighbors as 'Teetotal Al' buy himself a bottle of whisky? Because there was no factual basis to his nickname.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Say, "Wake up!"

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did u hear about evan porter going out with his computer of course not because u haven't read this joke yet

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What's white and sticky? Glue

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Wanna hear a joke? A joke.

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What did the black kid get for christmas? Nothing, he doesn't celebrate christmas

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What happened to the jew? He got shoved in an oven.

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When life gives you lemons,you say thank you.

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Where do rabbais go to shop? At the supermarket like everyone else.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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