Whats helped us not be mad at Osama Binladen. His death.

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How do you put an elephant in the refrigerator? Open the door and let him in. How do you put a giraffe in the refrigerator? Open the door and let the elephant out then give the giraffe a reasonable amount of time to enter.

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Why couldnt Jimmy swing on the swing? because Jimmy's a fish

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When my Xbox died, my girlfriend said: "Finally, you can treat me the same way you treated that thing!" So I tapped her so hard that she died

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Why are blonds so stupid? Because our society is insecure and we need a common denominator to pick on, so we can feel more comfortable with our mediocre lives.

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why did the 8 year old want a squirt gun? his parents were on fire

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What's funnier than 24? 25.

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What's the best position to be in while being attacked by a bear? invisible

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Knock Knock. Who's there? UPS.

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A cat fell out of a really tall tree. It didn't land on its feet.

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Yo mama is so fat that: it is ruining her self esteem and she worries about her health.

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What did the cripple kid get for Christmas? Cancer. You know what he got the next the next Christmas? Nothing he died.

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What does a cupcake get for Christmas? A fat kid.

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A priest, a rabbi and a captain are in a sinking ship. The rabbi says let's save the children. The captain says f*ck the children. The priest days do we have time.

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Some dude and his son are driving to school. They get into a car accident so the have to go the the hospital. But when the doctor comes in, the doctor says "I can't oporate on this boy! He's my son!" Who's the doctor? His Mom.

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Whats the difference between christians and nazis? one suppressed human rights and caused millions of deaths. the others were responsible for the holocaust.

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what did the clinically depressed man last post on twitter? "Oh cruel world, i finally lost all faith in the good of humanity. I am unloved and irrelevant to all. I know nobody will miss me, but goodbye anyway. #suicide " nobody followed him and saw the post and he died alone with nobody at his funeral.

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What type of food was the black guy eating? fruit, he is on a diet

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Why did the unicorn cross the road? i dont know. unicorns arent real

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A man and a women have a conversation. Man: what's 2 + 2 Woman: four. Man: you're correct.

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A man walks into a bar. He buys a drink and then goes home and beats his wife.

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your mamas so old, her social security number is 1!

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Q: how many Pollocks does it take to paint a house? A: 100. 99 to spin the house and 1 to hold the paint brush

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A Mexican walks into a club.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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