What is a bear's favorite televison show? It doesnt have one because it is a bear which makes watching television an illogical fallacy.

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What did the Muslim do after his friend told him a funny joke ? Laugh.

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How do you know a dude is dead? He doesn't breath, he has no color in the face and his heart has stoped.

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Roses are red Violets are red Trees are red Shrubs are red HOLY SHIT! MY YARD IS ON FIRE!

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i hate you.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I am a whore, Let's have sex.

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You hear about that old man that died on the news? It was my grandfather... oh...

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What did the boy do when he was cold? Got a blanket.

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What is worse than being ran over by a bus? Nothing really.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs sitting on your couch? My brother.

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A man walks into the corner of a table and bruises his leg. The bruise continues to be there for about 3 weeks.

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Go figure, you seemed pretty fucking scared of me back then. "autocast" hypnotic priming, anchors, you know what that is right? You for (as an example) clap your hands whenever you succeed at hypnotizing yourself while staying awake in a lucid state, then you repeat it until you one day just clap, your body remembers the whole sequence and boom it works right away. You did not think that PaulMcKenna could just touch people and have them do what he wants without even telling them what to do right? Especially not McKenna, I learned a lot from Richard Bandler, absolutely nothing from Anthony Robbins, everything I could ever want from Igor Ledochowsky, and absolutely nothing from PaulMcKenna, I went to him last, I should have skipped Both Robbins and Kenna, they use NLP and... Basically call it hypnosis.

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Kid: Teacher, what do you hate more than supervising people in detention sessions at this school? Teacher: I am a vegan. Hence meat is relatively dispicable and I abhor it in general.

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A boy watches as a firefighter saves a little girl from a fire and looks at his mom saying "I want to be a firefighter when i grow up mommy" The mom looks down and replies "Silly kid you're not gunna grow up you have leukemia."

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Person 1: Do you want to hear a joke? Person 2: Sure! Person:1: That was the joke... You missed it!!!!!

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How many jews can you fit in a car? However many seats there are

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Why is Digimon better than Pokemon? It has a better story and character development.

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whats stupid and likes dumb jokes? you.

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What's funny about suicide? Nothing, that's horrible.

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-How do you pull a prank on Helen Keller? -Stick a plunger in the toilet!

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How did the fat man die? Clogged arteries leading to a heart attack.

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How many perverts does it take to screw a lightbulb?

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How many Alzheimer patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side!

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What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAA

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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