How do you catch a squirrel? Use a live, humane trap, and release it back into the wild afterwards.

a

What do you call cheese thats not yours? Somebody elses cheese

cot!

Happiness is just at the end of the road... Just take a look at how long that road is yeah i wouldnt even try

What is Chuck Norris's favorite musical theme? Tanana na na naa naa na, ta ta ta tanana na naa na ta na na.

How do you make Lady Gaga cry? You set her on fire.

A guy named Dick goes into a bar and the barman says: - "hey, show my your dick" - "show you my what?" asks Dick. - "your dick!" - "oh! no, I'm shy"

What do you call a black man driving a car? A driver.

Q: what would george washington be doing if he were alive right now? A: screaming in his grave

Where do rabbais go to shop? At the supermarket like everyone else.

Knock Knock! Who's There? Not Steve Jobs.

A baby seal walks into a club...

How did shaniqua fall of the hill? because the diabito truck ran her over

What's the difference between and onion and a dead baby? There is a big difference.

What did the woman do when her husband told her to make him a sandwich? She made him a sandwich promptly.

A homeless boy walks up to a woman. "I'm hungry" "Then you should eat something."

If youve ever seen the wizard of oz movie and family guy, then u get what i mean. Hes a PHONY! a BIG FAT PHONY!

What did the frog say to the beautiful sleeping princess? Ribbit

When life gives you lemons, throw them away. Nobody likes lemons.

Why did the baby cross the street. Because he was attached to the chicken.

why cant blondes water ski.......... because whenever they split their legs they feel somthing wet

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I don't have cancer, but you do. Love, your doctor.

How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck Chuck Norris? Cheese on toast.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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