A: Ask me if im a fire hydrant. B: Are you a fire hydrant? A: No...

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "No, thats only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Looks through the peephole.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's funny about being adopted? Your parents never loved you

thumb_up thumb_down +25

An Asian oceanographer went scuba diving in the Pacific Ocean. Three days later the coast guard found his remains torn apart by sharks.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's big white and cant climb a tree? A refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Stevie wonder walks across the road without looking both ways.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Knock knock Who's there? Alzhiemers guy Alzhiemers guy who? Knock knock

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What is a ghost's favorite dessert? Nothing. Ghosts do not exist, thus they cannot eat dessert.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Three construction workers, an Italian guy, a Mexican guy, and a American guy are sitting on top of a building eating lunch. The Italian is tired of eating meatballs, the Mexican is eating a burrito, and the American is eating a cheeseburger. They are all fed up with eating the same lunch every day. The next day they all jump off the building for unrelated reasons. It is a tragedy and their families mourn the loss.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How did the people get into the pyramid?? They didn't

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Sup homie G. Shutup you are not black.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why didn't the depressed girl go on facebook? She was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A small child and a pedophile are walking hand-in-hand through the dark, creaky woods. "Mister," says the small child, " I'm scared." "YOU'RE scared?" says the pedophile. "I'M the one who's gonna have to walk back alone!"

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you call five dogs with no balls? Five bitches.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

me:I will trade you 5 dollars for 10 dollars blond: Okay! me: ...

thumb_up thumb_down +21

if japanese cars are called riceburners would german cars be called jewburners

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Whats the difference between peanut butter and jam? I can't peanut butter my dick into someones ass

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A Muslim blows up a bar

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

what's worse than one scoop of ice crea falling on the floor? - the holocaust what's worse than two scoops of ice cream falling on the floor? - nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A rabbi, a preist, and a homosexual are at a bar... What a fine example of a well cultured community.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Patrick is gay

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops