How do you make a clown cry? You kill his family and chop off his legs.

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I do not like the fact that you are linked with the feds.

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whats worse than flunking math? death.

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FOLLOW ME @airvvv

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I was on Skype with a girl yesterday and she asked "Do you want to see something?" "No," I said "my mom's in the room and she might get a bad interpretation." "I really want you to see this." She said. " No, my mom's still in the room, she'll think I'm weird if you turn out the lights." "Darn I really wanted to see your glow in the dark snuggie."

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planking.

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... and so the rabbi says "Don't worry. It was a kosher pickle anyway."

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Why does this dog have herpes? Global Warming.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his pig? Wheres my Pig?

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Star Wars

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Why was the plumber very sad Because i killed his family

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WHY DID THE KID RID HIS BRICK HE WAS BLIND

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Ask me if I'm a giraffe Are you a giraffe? Yes

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. It's funny because the robot has no arms.

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An Irishman, a Mexican and an American sit a test. They all pass.

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A pregnant woman is about to deliver. Both she and her husband are very excited about their first child being born. Then, it turn out that their baby has a rare deformation and has no limbs at all. They still love him

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The glass is half an hour.

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Life is like a box of chocolates, it doesn't last as long for fat people...

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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Why is the world round? The early earth was molten, and a liquid in a vacuum subject only to its own gravitational forces will assume the shape of a sphere. Gases will behave in the same manner. The effects of the sun and other planets, plus the rotational effect have caused the earth to assume a round shape.

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Guess what's funny? People voting for their own Anti joke.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she didn't have woman's rights Knock knock Who's there? NOT Sally, she's in the kitchen

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Q: Why was six afraid of seven? A: I don't know, he didn't tell me.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends on gender and environment, but a fully grown, adult, male polar bear weighs from 800 to 1600 pounds.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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