Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a fox stapled to his face.

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Little Timmy walked up to the teacher and asked her "Can i go to the restroom?" The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you ?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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What would you do if you're eyes just suddently exploded? You would never see again.

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What happened to the black man when his alarm went off? He got up and took a shower. Then he got dressed and went to church because it was Sunday.

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what did the man with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? cancer.

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What do you call a dead blonde in a closet? A rape victim.

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Q: Ask me if I'm a tree. A: No, I am not a tree.

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Why did the kid cross the road? He was strapped to a chicken!

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The President, the Pope, and a small child are in a plane when the pilot announces that they are about to crash. The plane hits the ocean. They quickly remember that there is a life jacket under their seats and they promptly put it on, but wait to inflate it (by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs) it until after exiting the cabin.

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Why did the monkey scream? He was hungry

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Why does 4 +5 = Hitler? It doesnt it equals 9.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple, finding a apple in your worm.

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How many no-armed amputees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

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What wears a white robe and shines? A special boar.

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Why was the little girl lying on the floor. Because she got shot.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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"make me a sandwhich bitch" is what he said to his female boss and led to him getting fired and eventually losing his home. Two weeks later his family left him.

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What happens when you are caught in the serious offense of killing somebody with intent? You get in trouble.

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Hey, I just met you And this is crazy, but you're getting too close And I'm about to file a restraining order, so back up, maybe?

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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What do you call a black guy flying an airplane? A pilot.

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What's the difference between black people and dog shit? One of them eventually turns white and stops smelling.

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There is a black man and a Mexican standing near the edge of a cliff, the black man turns to the Mexican and says, "We probably shouldn't stand this close to the edge of a cliff" The Mexican agrees and they step away from the cliff.

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What did little Robbie get for Christmas? AIDS

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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