If I crash my car, how many trees does it take to cover my yard in orange juice, yellow, because a cat pissed on my foot.

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So a man dipped his balls in sloppy joe sauce.

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What happens when you eat all the strawberries? They are GONE...

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Humpty Dumpty didn't fall I pushed him

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A young girl walks out of a bar then gets raped.

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What do you call a gay dinosaur? a mega sore ass

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what is brown and rhymes with snoop? dr dre

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A handicapped man rolls into a bar. He buys a drink, talks for a while, and rolls out.

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A terrorist walks into a bar and shoots his virgin

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I don't always finish my sentences but when I do...

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What do you call a white man in the NBA? A really good basketball player

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How many black guys does it take to change a lightbulb? None can, since noone can work together because they cant see eachother.

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Knock knock. Hello dear. Come in.

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What's worse than a bee sting? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

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A man went into a bakers to buy a loaf of bread. The baker said 'What can i do for you sir?' The man said 'Id like a loaf of blue bread please.' Baker replied 'Sorry sir we only sell brown or white here.' 'Thats ok.' said the man, 'I have my bike outside.' [This joke was made up by myself and my school friends in 1975 age 15. We all told it for years - i still do - and cried with laughter whenever we heard it. We called them non jokes :-) ]

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Ask me if I'm a peanut. Are you a peanut? Yes. Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? No, I'm a peanut.

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Why did the man not get home to his loving family? He blew up.

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- Server, there's a hair in my soup ! - You're right, sir, I'll give you another soup imminently.

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Why did the sponge go to the store? The same reason all sponges go to stores: to be sold to patrons of said store.

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Q.What does chuck norris eat as breakfast? ans.FOOD

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Asians

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Why are there no Mexican people on Star Trek? Because the casting director screened thousands of actors and actresses and assembled what he/she felt was the most talented cast to create and sustain a long running television series. Unfortunately no one of Mexican dissent was awarded a role.

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Why did little Susie light herself on fire? Answer: She wanted to be warm

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A shark walks into a bar and the bartender says Why the bloody face? The shark replies by saying my wife beat me with a stick. Considering that sharks cant talk, the bartender ends up going to the doctor to see if he may be dillousinal.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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