Q: How many Jew does it take to change a light bulb? Here is the answer: A: A lightbulb cannot be changed, it either is or isn't. Do you mean replace a burned-out bulb with a new one? Here, in this case, with design, logistics, manufacturing, marketing of just that single bulb- there are many people involved. It could be argued that we all play some small part in the process. ------ Nothing to see here, end of the joke. :)

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Does it not sound kinda fun to keep slapping someone that always turns the other cheek?

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what do you call a martial arts instructor with a medical degree who's name is Richard? Craig... just kidding, Richard

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A person walked into a bar, he saw it was the wrong bar so he leaves...

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Why did the blind man commit suicide? Cause his wife was so ugly he went blind and become depressed a shot himself...twice.

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What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper with some red stuff on it.

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womens rights!

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What do you call a jew with no money It doesn't really matter because all jews have money

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Q: What do you call an elephant between two buildings? A: An elephant between two buildings, and the question of how the elephant got there

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two boys break out in a verbal fight. the first boy says your so stupid youd sell a cow for a gallon of milk. the second boy replied, i agree with you 110%.

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What's black, white, and red all over? White on black homicide.

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What do you say to a black man who is in your house at night-time, carrying your television? Sir, may you please put down the television as it belongs to me and I worked hard to earn the money to buy it. If you do not I will have to contact the authorities to deal with you in a correct and fair manner.

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why did the mother beat the young boy? Because he was adopted

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What did the mushroom say to the pretty lady? Nothing, because it's a mushroom.

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Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're dead.

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Why did the man loose his balls? he had testicular cancer and had to get them removed.

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What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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Do you know that car over there? No.

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What happened to the orphan on Christmas? he got raped

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Hello, ladies, look at your man, now back to me, now back at your man, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped using ladies scented body wash and switched to Old Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re on a boat with the man your man could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an oyster with two tickets to that thing you love. Look again, the tickets are now diamonds. Anything is possible when your man smells like Old Spice and not a lady. I’m on Sarah Jessica Parker.

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Why do redheads have red hair Because they were born like that.

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World Peace

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An English man, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They each buy a pint and talk about their day.

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How do you find Nemo? Watch the movie.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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