What did the racist slave owner do when his slave refused to complete his task? Asked him nicely until the task was completed.

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How many no-armed amputees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

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How Long is a Chinese man.

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What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

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A teenage boy tells his family that he is gay. His mother says she had always known, and they accept him for who he is.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He farted

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What's brown, dusty, and full of male? My asshole.

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What comes after 69? Mouthwash

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Knock Knock Who is it? Me, I forgot my keys on the way out oh ok...

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Wow, thats warming to the core Nero, you are really sweet when you want to, I was having a lot more than second thoughts, I mean I do not mind the thought of sex with you really and I mean that, but losing who I already consider my best friend would just be sad. So uh, sex once huh? I mean, one more feather on the uh, hat thing, is that what this is about to you?

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why did the bird fall out of the tree? Earth's Gravitational pull

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shut up

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why was the Jewish child sad? He was recently abandoned by all his family.

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Q:What kind of pizza did the World Trade Center order? A:Two Plains

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Did you see the blind man get hit by a car? Neither did he.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? It's Bob. Oh hi, Bob, come on in.

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Q: I am an over-protective father looking for my son who was kidnapped and am suddenly traveling with a mentally retarded woman who cant remember her name. By the way my wife was murdered and my son has physical disorder. Then, im hooked up with a hippy who doesnt care about anything. Who am I? A: Marlin the clownfish (from Finding Nemo).

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Two muffins are in the oven, one looks at the other and says, "it sure is hot in here." The other responds, "AAhHH a TALKING MUFFIN."

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An Arian man walks into a German-owned bar and asks to use the restroom. The bartender sees this acceptable and allows it. Soon after, a Jewish man asks the same question, but this time the bartender said no. The Jewish man thought it was an outrage and demanded why, so the bartender calmly explained to him that the Arian man was still using the restroom and that when he was finished the Jewish man was free to poo as he pleased.

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Humpty Dumpty didn't fall I pushed him

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Q: Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? A: The backyard gate was left open

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How do you make a napkin dance? You can't. Stop having such unrealistic aspirations.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Boo. Oh hey man, you got the meth?

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What are the things that define you? The things that define you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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