What walks on four legs in the morning, two in the afternoon, and one in the evening? A dog that plays in traffic all day.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

I don't often drink beer. But when I do, I recklessly beat my wife and kids.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

If there are 3 black men as passengers in a car, who is driving? The person who is operating the vehicle.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What do you call a woman who has one leg that's shorter than the other? Asymmetrical.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

HAHA SO ONE TIME... The man could not finish his story because he gets shot, and is mourned for years. His daughter was watching it all. She then jumped. And fell. And broke her knee. And then died. yeah

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What did the cow say to the other cow? Moo.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A zucchini is walking down the street, when he spots a cucumber club on his left hand side. Having nothing else to do he decides to walk in. When he walks into the club all of the cucumbers stop and stare at this strange being in their club. Finally, after having one too many drinks, one cucumber decides that this ridiculousness has gone on long enough and it is up to him to say something, so he goes up to the zucchini and says, "Hey buddy, what's your problem, clearly you are in a cucumber club and you're a zucchini." The zucchini just looks at him, puzzled, and responds " A cucumber club? I thought this was a ucumber club!!!!!"... It's funny because zucchinis are dyslexic.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the bride get a refrigerator for her wedding? Because it is a very nice present

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the white guy feel awkward at the black people convention? He didn't know anyone there

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What did one baby say to the other? Nothing, they were both killed in a building collapse.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What do you call a Mexican who gets shot on a golf course? A tragic incident.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's the difference between a white person and a black person? The presence of melanin in their skin, as well as often their socioeconomic and cultural backgrounds.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

why did the 1st koala fall out of the tree ? it was dead why did the 2nd koala fall out of the tree ? it was hit by the first koala why did the 3rd koala fall out of the tree ? it thought it was a game why did the 4th koala fall out of the tree ? it was hit by a fridge why did the 5th koala fall out of the tree ? it was inside the fridge

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A man had a terminal illness. He died a few months after he was diagnosed.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Congratulations you just won a greencard to the USA! YES YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT! WELCOME TO: UNCLEAN SOUTH ARABIA. Press green thumb below = greencard. no srslsy.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did the lover say to his lover? I love you

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Q: Whats more fun that nailing babys to a fence? A: Ripping them off.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Knock, Knock. Who's there? The wind. The wind who? ...

thumb_up thumb_down +25

minced oaths

thumb_up thumb_down +25

If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

knock knock who's there? julian julian who? julian gonzalez

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why cant stevie wonder see? He is blind

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A shark walks into a bar and the bartender says why the long face. The shark replies i dont have cancer just a terrible drinking problem.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops