What couldn't Little Timmy see the pirate movie? Because Little Timmy was blind.

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I learned a new party trick over the weekend; I swallow a piece of string and it comes out my other end tied! I shit you knot.

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What do you call someone that hates gay people? An asshole.

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When Jesus came back from the dead the first thing he said was "It was just a prank bro!"

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"Knock, Knock" "Go away, I have a lot of stuff to do right now and knock knock jokes suck."

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How do you drown a blonde? From her infancy, instill in her a dread of the water. Keep her away from baths and showers, protect her from pools, and as the child grows, regale her nightly with terrible stories about the cruelty of the sea. When she has matured past 18, take her out to the middle of a lake on a boat and push her in.

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I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus, the divorce papers were filed soon thereafter.

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Why did the child with terminal cancer and leprosy get sent to the principal's office? Because his parents and brother died in a car accident, and the principal though he should be informed.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust.

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The burgler walked into the house. Nobody noticed the initial intrusion. The burgler quickly left. The family of which was stolen from woke up the next day and enjoyed a hearty breakfast of grains, oats, and barley without a worry on anyone's mind.

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Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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What did mr. Mackey say to his class. It's easy mkay

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What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper with some red stuff on it.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why did Helen Kellers dog run away? You would too if your name was Hjshdvcyehbretafvvba.

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Wanna hear a joke? No.

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A sick patient asks a doctor, "will i be able to play my guitar?" The doctor replies, "of course you will be able to". "Good because that is my only form of income", says the patient.

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what do you call a black guy in a cop car a cop

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h

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Roses are red Violets are blue This line doesn't rhyme Neither does this one.

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What is the difference between a Ferrari and a dead hooker? One is a car and one is a human being.

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World Peace

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how many jews did hitler kill during the holocaust? too many jews

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Knock knock. Who's there? Becca. I just found out i have aids, so you should probably get yourself checked out.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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