Q:whats yellow and flys through walls A:A magical Banana

Knock, Knock. Come in.

What did the white man hand to the mexican? His college degree because the mexican had completed all four years of college with a 4.0 GPA.

What's blue and smells like pee? Pee, I lied about the color

A baby seal walks into a club.

what is black and white and red all over a shot to death zebra

What's long, hard, and full of semen? a penis.

do you know what's so funny? yup

Hi, my name is Mark and I have dead babies in my garage... Just kidding. My name is not Mark.

Knock Knock Who's there? The Police The Police who? The police Johnson Oh, come in Mr Johnson

Q:What did the cat say to the dog? A: Meow

What call a duck with no wings? A deformity.

Q: I am an over-protective father looking for my son who was kidnapped and am suddenly traveling with a mentally retarded woman who cant remember her name. By the way my wife was murdered and my son has physical disorder. Then, im hooked up with a hippy who doesnt care about anything. Who am I? A: Marlin the clownfish (from Finding Nemo).

I said I read te terms of service. I didnt

Knock, Knock Who's there? Dementia Dementia who Knock, Knock

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? Fish

A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

How many no-armed amputees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

whats worse than fining 7 dead babies in 1 trash can? finding 1 dead baby in 7 trashcans!

Why did Tommy cry? His tear glands emptied out of his eyes

Why did the monkey eat his own poop? Because there was minimal resources where he was so he resorted to eat his own fecal matter

why did the boy have no friends ? Because he lived in a small cottage miles away from any civilization with his overly strict parents who would not let him see the daylight and deprived him of any kind of childhood, he has no social skills and does not know how to interact with other human beings at no fault of his own. he is also dead

How do you make a baby eat his food? Make one first

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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