Two guys walk into a bar. You think the second one would've noticed and avoided it.

Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll probably just land back on earth.

Someone told me about this website.

A blonde, the pope, and a young kid are in a crashing airplane and there's only one parachute. But by the time any of them equips it, the plane hits the ground and they all die.

What did the boy with cancer get for christmas? -A haircut

Two gay men in a hottub. They relaxed for about half an hour before getting out and going to the bed, where they fell asleep.

Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

why did the baby cross the road...? cause he was chained to my bumper

What is the most common cause of pedophilia? Sexy kids.

Why did the man pee his pants? Because he was paralyzed from the waste down and had no way of feeling

What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

Knock Knock, Who's there? Satan. Oh **** go away.

What's has 4 wheels But ain't a blue car A red car

Knock Knock. Who's there? Guitar. Guiar who? Violin.

I hate being bipolar, it's so awesome.

Two chemists walk into a bar. The first says, "I'd like some H2O" The second says "I'd like some H2O as well." Nobody dies.

A Jewish man overhears another man making a joke about the Holocaust. The Jew says, "Hey! You! My father died in the Holocaust!" The other man says, "Oh, I'm sorry. What camp was he in?" The Jew says, "Camp? No, my father had a heart attack."

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Dozer has a soul

Why are we posting shit jokes on here? Because we can't drink!

Your Mom

What did the cow call the hen? A hen, what else would you call it?

What'd the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Just Dance 2 the video game

-Knock Knock -Who is it? -Your father, i forgot my keys.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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