Why did the cow cross the road?..I didn't know the intentions of the cow, but an elderly woman in an automobile experienced a collision with the animal that ended not only the life of the cow but of the elderly woman as well.

thumb_up thumb_down +70

Knock Knock Who's there? It's the mailman delivering your weekly delivery

thumb_up thumb_down +70

What did the Jewish man get for Christmas? Nothing. He is Jewish, therefore he does not celebrate Christmas, he celebrates Hanukkah. So he won't get a present for Christmas, he will get eight presents for Hanukkah. (He'll like getting a good deal).

thumb_up thumb_down +68

HARRY EFFING STYLES

thumb_up thumb_down +56

Why did the man steal 2 watermelons? He was a shoplifter and had a background of crime

thumb_up thumb_down +54

GAY PEOPLE

thumb_up thumb_down +54

Which one is hardest?

thumb_up thumb_down +54

What's a Mexican's favorite sport? It varies from person to person.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

A Fish walks into a bar. It died of oxygen starvation.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Q: what's black, white and red all over A: a penguin in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Once you go black you may be more open to dating a second black person.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What did the man say to his son? Hello, son.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

How did Peter Parker tell his uncle that he was Spiderman? He didn't because he was already dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why did the dog run away from home? His house burned down and his owners were killed.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

A Muslim terrorist walks onto a bus, with the mindset to blow him and the other 27 people up*. Before he steps onto the bus, he realizes the error in his ways and decides to not follow through. He goes to the airport instead.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Lightening never strikes the same place twice. But it killed both my parents.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What's the difference between an old quarter and a new penny? 24 cents

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What did the black man say to the other black man? Nothing, he was recently involved in a terrible car accident which he barely survived but lost the function of speech and was paralysed from the neck downwards. He is constantly in pain and desperately wants someone to kill him but has no way of communicating this so is forced to wait until his natural death.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by it surroundings, and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What did the mute guy say to the deaf guy? *awkward silence* What did the deaf guy say to the mute guy? *Awkward silence....huh?*

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Billy isn't a homosexual, he just has sex with men. Billy has sex with men, because Billy's in prison.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

uhh i dont feel like writing a joke

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What does a Mexican do in a landslide? Lose a good deal of his hard earned property to the disaster.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What is the biggest lie in the universe? I love you.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops