how do you say desk in spanish? escritorio

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Two people were walking down the street. One was assaulted.

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What happens when you push an asian in a hole? He falls in

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What does Santa get for Christmas? A shitload of work to do.

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Why did the cow die? Because we need meat

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Your mom is so fat that she sat on a rock.

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onranges are orange bananas are yellow and apples are red/green ................... and im ................. PINK (lw/kc)

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What do a grape and a reindeer have in common? They're both purple, except the reindeer.

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What did the bird say to the squirrel? Chirp

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whats pale and white your ass.

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How did Hitler die? He saw his gas bill

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R2-D2 is quite possibly the most vulgar character on the set of Star Wars. Every word he says is bleeped out.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Guitar. Guiar who? Violin.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "what'll it be?" The horse, unable to understand human language. Takes a shit and walks out.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? Death

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Robocop and T-800 where fighting, first the T-800 manages to injure Robocop critically, but Robocop manages to repair himself and break T-800`s legs off, which T-800 suddenly regrows due to an unexpected upgrade. After several hours of combat, where civilians are injured and half the town is destroyed they where both worn out, but ready for one last struggle... ...Eventually there was a great celebration for whoever won.

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You can lead a horse to water, but you can't put it in a basket.

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What's big, red and eats rocks? A big, red Rock-Eater

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how do make a condom fly around the room? Piss it off!

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Why did Johnny buy the strawberry ice cream? Because when he gets the chocolate he vomits and bleeds out of his asshole.

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What did the dead man say at his own funeral? Nothing, he's dead...

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What's black and white, and red all over? newspaper...

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My Girlfriend

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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