Shit happens. Correction: feces happens.

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What is a bear's favorite televison show? It doesnt have one because it is a bear which makes watching television an illogical fallacy.

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Q: How do you get a clown to stop smiling? A: Hit it with an axe

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Q:whats the easiest way to get crabs? A:at your local seafood market.

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how do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the brake

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Why don't they sell pharmaceuticals in the rain forest? Because it is to sparsely populated and not economically viable.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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What did the tourist in Africa get? A souvenior.

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What did the mouse say to the elephant? Squeak.

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1, 2, buckle my shoe. 3, 4, shut the door. 5, 6, I'm gonna to cut you in your sleep.

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How do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it. How do you make it stop crying? You throw another brick at it.

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What did the cow say to the other cow? Moo.

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What did the cat say when it jumped into the cardboard box? Meow

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Whats green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree you'll die? A pool table.

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What comes after 69? Mouthwash

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If there are 3 black men as passengers in a car, who is driving? The person who is operating the vehicle.

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your life

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What's funnier than a rock. A funny rock.

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What did the computer say to the other computer? Nothing, computers can't talk

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What's long, hard, and full of semen? a penis.

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What's the fastest animal on earth? An Ethiopian chicken.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm not a very good poet

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Why did the man walk into a bar? Well hell I don't know I thought you might.

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Looks through the peephole.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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