How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends on gender and environment, but a fully grown, adult, male polar bear weighs from 800 to 1600 pounds.

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What's the best thing about having sex with twenty eight year olds? There's twenty of them.

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What is one of the symtoms of clinical depression? Sadness.

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Why couldn't the little boy find his friend in hide and go seek He was blind

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Q: Has your ear operation had success? A: Hotdog with chili.

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You want to know what is worse than having a teen parent? Being a teen parent.

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Why did Jimmy fail his math test? Because he had a mental disability

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How does Ray Charles see? He doesn't, he plays piano.

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Why didn't Jane buy an ice-cream? Because she was lactose intolerant.

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There are four types of people in this world. I never said I would name them all

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A pregnant women walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender denies her service because she is under the legal age.

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Why did LeBron James up and bail on Cleveland? He thought there was a greater opportunity for postseason success by playing in Miami.

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There was an old man from Limerick. He was of scottish ancestry and nearing his 76th birthday.

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If I crash my car, how many trees does it take to cover my yard in orange juice, yellow, because a cat pissed on my foot.

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Where do cows go on the weekend? The slaughterhouse.

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What's silver and bad for your teeth? A wrench

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Wanna hear an oxymoron? Jews for Jesus.

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Superman: Batman, can you drive? Batman: No, but I can drive the batmobile.

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what do you call a stupid chav? Gifted

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What do you call a guy who acts straight but is really not? Verl.

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I asked the librarian for a book on suicide. She said "I'm sorry we don't have those in stock." So I just hung myself.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? Because he got hit by a truck

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A man went into a bakers to buy a loaf of bread. The baker said 'What can i do for you sir?' The man said 'Id like a loaf of blue bread please.' Baker replied 'Sorry sir we only sell brown or white here.' 'Thats ok.' said the man, 'I have my bike outside.' [This joke was made up by myself and my school friends in 1975 age 15. We all told it for years - i still do - and cried with laughter whenever we heard it. We called them non jokes :-) ]

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A handicapped man rolls into a bar. He buys a drink, talks for a while, and rolls out.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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