Wanna hear a joke? Me too.

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A zucchini is walking down the street, when he spots a cucumber club on his left hand side. Having nothing else to do he decides to walk in. When he walks into the club all of the cucumbers stop and stare at this strange being in their club. Finally, after having one too many drinks, one cucumber decides that this ridiculousness has gone on long enough and it is up to him to say something, so he goes up to the zucchini and says, "Hey buddy, what's your problem, clearly you are in a cucumber club and you're a zucchini." The zucchini just looks at him, puzzled, and responds " A cucumber club? I thought this was a ucumber club!!!!!"... It's funny because zucchinis are dyslexic.

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How many atheists does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

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If you are good at taking quizzes, you are quizzical. What are you if you are good at taking tests? Testical.

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What do you put on top of salad? Salad Dressing.

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potato farming

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2

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Why did the man have cold feet on his wedding day? The wedding was outside in the winter.

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Why was the plumber very sad Because i killed his family

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whats the difference between a jew and a boyscout? A boyscout comes home from camp.

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Whats the difference between a duck? One of its legs are both the same.

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A man walked into a bar, he was extremely short sighted, after this occurence he decided to phone up the opticians to get some glasses.

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Knock knock, Knock knock jokes aren't funny.

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What did the girl with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer .

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, WTF is this, i gotta take a piss.

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A preposition is a bad thing to end a sentence with.

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how do you kill a mexican? make him go to the cicus

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What did the man who was punched in the throat say to his friend?

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I scream! You scream! - You've Just Been Rapped

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What is black and white and green and red and purple and orange and magenta and brown and yellow all at the same time? Can you tell me? Cause I've got no clue.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends on gender and environment, but a fully grown, adult, male polar bear weighs from 800 to 1600 pounds.

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If a quiz is a quizzical what is a test? It is an assessment intended to measure the respondents' knowledge or other abilities.

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here i am sitting here staring at the wall and beside me is a doll, oh no its moving, i hope it doesnt lick tht popsicle, oh no it just licked tht popsicle, oh no oh no

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Why did the man throw the clock out the window? Because he was angry and frustrated with the people in his life, and the ringing clock was the first thing he noticed in his depressed rage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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