A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

What is a bear's favorite televison show? It doesnt have one because it is a bear which makes watching television an illogical fallacy.

your momma is so stupid she failed math class

Why did the black man walk into KFC? He was terribly hungry and had a reasonable amount of currency with him to purchase food for his well being.

How do you find Nemo? Watch the movie.

What happened to the orphan on Christmas? he got raped

i like my women like i like my coffee...big boobs

What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAA

What's faster than a Mexican running away with your T.V.? An Airplane

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

A bar walks into your mother.

Yo mama so stupid she stole free bread.

Romney 2012

Unflushed Shit...

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm.

Okay so two penquins are sitting in a bathtub when one asks the other "Hey pass the soap!". The other one jokingly replies "what do I look like a typewriter?"

minced oaths

What is 18 inches long and makes a woman scream all night? Crib death.

whats worse than a worm in a rotten apple? 2 worms in a rotten apple. whats worse than 2 worms in a rotten apple? 3 worms in a rotten apple. whats worse than 3 worms in a rotten apple? the haulocaust. whats worse than the haulocaust? 4 worms in a rotten apple. wait wait...that was rascist,nevermind this joke.

Guy 1: there is this really funny knock knock joke. Ok you start. Guy 2: knock knock Guy 1: who's there Guy 2: umm what? I don't know

Some people are like Slinkies: they get really boring after a while.

Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. Your family is dead.

A Horse walks into a bar. Bartender:why the long face? Horse:I have terminal cancer.

nock nock who's there i eat mop i eat mop ho i didn't know you eat your poo. the wedding is off and go **** yourself in a hole!!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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