Roses are brown. Violets are brown. It's the middle of winter. Flowers look like poop.

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Do you know why your mom is so bold? Becaus she's got cancer

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What's funny about a Jew, a Muslim, and a Christian going over the edge of a bridge in the same car? Nothing, they all died

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A dyslexic pimp buys a warehouse.

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how do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the brake

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like my drawing of a white person?

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What do you get when you cross a cat with a log? I think the better question is why are you mixing those two things together?

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The President, a terrorist, a student, and a genius were on a crashing plane. They all died.

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What walks on four legs in the morning, two in the afternoon, and one in the evening? A dog that plays in traffic all day.

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Why was Susie screaming profusely? Susie has autism.

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What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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What did the man say to his son? Hello, son.

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What do you call a woman who has one leg that's shorter than the other? Asymmetrical.

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knock knock. who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant

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Q: A black person and a white person decided to have a race, who won? A: The black person, as he exercised and worked out on a regular basis, making him very fast.

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Knock knock Who's there? What.

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What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAA

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your life

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How many Alzheimer patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side!

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 took 9 behind an alley and raped her.

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A zucchini is walking down the street, when he spots a cucumber club on his left hand side. Having nothing else to do he decides to walk in. When he walks into the club all of the cucumbers stop and stare at this strange being in their club. Finally, after having one too many drinks, one cucumber decides that this ridiculousness has gone on long enough and it is up to him to say something, so he goes up to the zucchini and says, "Hey buddy, what's your problem, clearly you are in a cucumber club and you're a zucchini." The zucchini just looks at him, puzzled, and responds " A cucumber club? I thought this was a ucumber club!!!!!"... It's funny because zucchinis are dyslexic.

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A man walks into a bar. He asks the bartender for a glass of milk. The bartender says, "Sorry we don't serve milk here.

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Why did the bride get a refrigerator for her wedding? Because it is a very nice present

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Why did Jenny fail her photography class? Because Jenny has epilepsy and she had a coma while taking the final exam? To this day Jenny is drain dead in the hospital.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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