An Irish man, a Scottish man and an English man walk into a bar ... The Irish man's a bit dim, the Scotsman's tight with money and the Englishman's a bit of a racist.

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The priest is a former alcoholic, and has the strength to turn around and leave.

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What did the Muslim do after his friend told him a funny joke ? Laugh.

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Kid: Teacher, what do you hate more than supervising people in detention sessions at this school? Teacher: I am a vegan. Hence meat is relatively dispicable and I abhor it in general.

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Go figure, you seemed pretty fucking scared of me back then. "autocast" hypnotic priming, anchors, you know what that is right? You for (as an example) clap your hands whenever you succeed at hypnotizing yourself while staying awake in a lucid state, then you repeat it until you one day just clap, your body remembers the whole sequence and boom it works right away. You did not think that PaulMcKenna could just touch people and have them do what he wants without even telling them what to do right? Especially not McKenna, I learned a lot from Richard Bandler, absolutely nothing from Anthony Robbins, everything I could ever want from Igor Ledochowsky, and absolutely nothing from PaulMcKenna, I went to him last, I should have skipped Both Robbins and Kenna, they use NLP and... Basically call it hypnosis.

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What do you tell a girl with 2 black eyes? You should ice those to preven swelling aron the eyes

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why did every one in the world die? a Train pooped it's pants.

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Homosexual babies? It's a choice

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What did the robot do when a person was shot? Nothing, it wasn't programmed for that situation.

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How can you tell if a Mexican's gay? Ask politely.

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What happened when the Asian girl got an 89 on her Test? Her parents kicked her out of their house.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms ... Knock knock Who's there? Not Susie

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Friends are like trees. They fall down when you hit them with an ax.

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Why did the girl fall off of the swing? They threw a fridge at her.

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Why did the man drink water? Because he was thirsty

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come along children

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Why did the unicorn cross the road? i dont know. unicorns arent real

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What did the Engineer say to the English major? Hey we went to the same school and got different degrees! Cool!

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Teen pregnancy

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3 men walk into a bar. The fourth one ducks.

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How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Wanna go for a bike ride??

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Microsoft Windows

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to.

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Do you know why your mom is so bold? Becaus she's got cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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