Why didn't Peter get anything from his parents for Christmas? His parents have been dead for 5 years

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Why is that blond girl so dumb? Because she has fetal alcohol syndrome.

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Get in the van

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Bumsniffer

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What's the best part about a birthday cake? Eating it.

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Hi my name is Burp -you can call me Bu Nice to meet you

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Commercials lie: I think that they do believe it's not butter!

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What do you cal a black boy with a bike? A thief

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? Horse semen

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why did the chicken cross the road because everyone on the other side already had bird flu

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Q: What's better than a dead baby? A: Knowing who killed it, because then you can report them to your local authorities, thus creating a safer community.

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How did the blonde screw in a lightbulb? She didn't, she fell and broke her neck and went to a hospital. Thus you should not laugh.

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What is 10 inches long and didnt get sucked on valentines day? Whitney Houston's crack pipe.

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"hey" said an elephant to another elephant... "why can I talk?" the other elephan did not reply because it is normal and cannot speak or understand the first elephant. And a man near by thinks he's dreaming so he strips down and runs around naked to be tazed on his left testicle an the. Falls into the crocodile enclosure. But they pay no attention because they are docile after being in the zoo so long. But he did land on his balls and is crying.

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Why did the cow cross the road?..I didn't know the intentions of the cow, but an elderly woman in an automobile experienced a collision with the animal that ended not only the life of the cow but of the elderly woman as well.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because he was dead.

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ur mother

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Life is like a box of chocolates. You eat them. get fat. Die.

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Your not having a bad day, your just doing everything wrong!

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Q: How much does a hipster weigh? A: It varies largely by hipster, the same way it does with any other person.

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Why did Helen Kellers dog run away? You would too if your name was Hjshdvcyehbretafvvba.

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A black goes to college

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why cant sophie lifeguard safely because she cant swim that good

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I'm not wearing underwear Why not Cause I have built in underwear

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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