Why did the bride get a refrigerator for her wedding? Because it is a very nice present

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Why do you never hit a black man with your car? Because that's vehicular homicide.

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What is 69? A two digit number.

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A horse walks into a glue factory..

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Q. How did Kit Kat candy bars get their name? A. It was chosen by manufacturer.

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Why did the airplane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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whats the best way to burn calories? Set a fat kid on fire.

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Why did the elephant fall into the hot chocolate? It fell off the marshmellow.

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Knock knock. Who's there? President. President who? The President of the United States.

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Wats wet and salty and people on the west coast get covered in it? Sweat.

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What do you get when you cross a grizzly bear and a dolphin? Well, the odds of these two animals mating are slim to none. Due to the undeniable fact that dolphins live in the ocean primarily in the warmer tropical waters and grizzly bears live on land in the pacific northwest where the water would be too cold for the dolphin anyway. The dolphin would be swimming around avoiding sharks and the bear would probably be eating a salmon. But if they did breed you would get a dolphinbear. Although a dolphinbear would have a very low chance of survival given it's part dolphin. Dolphins are pussies.

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Roses are red. I had no clue. I like pie. So screw you.

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A white man bumps into an Asian man while walking down the street. They have a brief chat. As they part ways, the white man says, "Facebook me!" The Asian man replies, "Due to my socio-economic situation I cannot currently afford an Internet service." So they exchange telephone numbers.

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Q: Ask me if I'm a tree. A: No, I am not a tree.

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yo mama so fat she's fat

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Why did a monkey fall out of a tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of a tree? Gravity. Why did the third monkey fall out of a tree? He was stapled to the second monkey.

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what's white on top and black on the bottom? Society

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What is 69? A number that is before 70 and after 68

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Jingle bells, batman smells, robin laid an egg.

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Why did the kid cross the road? He was strapped to a chicken!

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What is Chuck Norris's favorite musical theme? Tanana na na naa naa na, ta ta ta tanana na naa na ta na na.

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The pennis has a tuff life, his best friend is a pussy, his neighbors is an A hole, his family is nuts, and his master beats him.

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What's worse than Bin Weevils? Nick Clegg.

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What's worse than throwing 8 babies off a cliff? Throwing 1 baby off a cliff.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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