whats bigger than a 4 school bus pile up? genocide.

Whats the worst part about being fat? Your fat.

What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

Roses are grey, violets are grey, im a dog

Why couldn't the cat drink its milk? Because its ears were nailed to the floor.

Why don't women need watches? Because they have clocks on their cell phones because they have jobs outside of the house and are INDEPENDENT WOMEN! MEN DO NOT DEFINE THEM!

What do you call 400 black men rolling down a hill? 400 black men rolling down a hill.

Your as much use as Anne Frank's drum kit.

Knock Knock, Who's there? Satan. Oh **** go away.

Roses are red Violets are blue Its just a bulge I swear its not a bomb

Q: Why did little Johnny not like little Suzie? A: He was a homosexual.

What did the great political leader say in order to calm the riot. There were no definable words. He merely screamed as the riot swallowed him and tore him apart.

Q: What do cows do on the weekends? A: They go to the Moovies Q:What do pigs do on the weekends? A:Go Bowling

What do you call a man who just came home from a 72-hour work shift ? You don't call him, you let him sleep.

What is x (4 - 10) + 6879 (333) x 678912345 - 9.87537 when x equals pi? Answer: YOUR FACE!!!

Why did the man burn his face? He went into a fire. :D

A man stuck his diick in a blender He had a "penis shake" for breakfast

What would people call Michael Jackson if he became president? Probably President Jackson

What is funnier than 9 black fellas dead in a trashbin? 1 black fella dead in 9 trashbins.

What's green and has wheels? Grass...I was just lying about the wheels.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape her abusive father

Roses are red, Violets are violet. You guys really suck at making poems...

What's black and white and red all over? A cow being processed

Dozer has a soul

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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