Q:whats the easiest way to get crabs? A:at your local seafood market.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What do you call 10,000 lawers jumping out of a plane? A good start.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Since little kids sleep with stuffed bears, do bears sleep with stuffed humans?

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What's funny about suicide? Nothing, that's horrible.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

roses are red, violets are blue, I talk to myself, and so do it I.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

3 men walk into a bar. The fourth one ducks.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why is Digimon better than Pokemon? It has a better story and character development.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

How do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it. How do you make it stop crying? You throw another brick at it.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Roses are red Violets are blue who are you kidding, violets are violet

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What did the cat say when it jumped into the cardboard box? Meow

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A horse walks into a bar...n

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What did the man say to his son? Hello, son.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

How did the fat man die? Clogged arteries leading to a heart attack.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

I don't often drink beer. But when I do, I recklessly beat my wife and kids.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Q: What happens when you throw a green rock in the Red Sea? A: It gets wet.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

How many perverts does it take to screw a lightbulb?

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What do you call a box with a dead Jew in? A coffin.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

How many dead babies does it take to paint a house red. Babies, especially dead ones cannot paint.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

what is fat and ugly. fat and ugly people

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What did one deer say to the other? Nothing. The second deer was killed while they were eating and now the first deer is scarred dot life.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops