How many small children does it take to change a light bulb? None. Children are not old enough to do this by themselves.

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sweaty black guy

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FIONN'S HAIR 1 LIKE = £1 FOR A HAIRCUT

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Hey Jim? What? Pass the stapler.

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Two men sit down at a bar. First man: I hear you're having a baby! Second man: My wife had a miscarriage. First man: Oh.... The talking ceased

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Why does this dog have herpes? Global Warming.

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whats the oposite from anti-jokes? uncle-jokes. LOL

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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Whats worse than getting in a 30 MPH car accident? Getting in a 40 MPH car accident.

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Did you hear the one about the blonde who went to the grocery store? She walked in, purchased the items that she specified on her shopping list, then left and went to her daughter's piano recital.

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Dumbledore: Yo mamma's so fat --- her Patronus is a cake! Voldemort: ...bitch!

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I was on Skype with a girl yesterday and she asked "Do you want to see something?" "No," I said "my mom's in the room and she might get a bad interpretation." "I really want you to see this." She said. " No, my mom's still in the room, she'll think I'm weird if you turn out the lights." "Darn I really wanted to see your glow in the dark snuggie."

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Two Penn State administrators walk into a butt.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I own a lawn mower Can you swim?

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Anti jokes.

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Q: What faster than a black man with a t.v A: A jew with a coupon

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An Arian man walks into a German-owned bar and asks to use the restroom. The bartender sees this acceptable and allows it. Soon after, a Jewish man asks the same question, but this time the bartender said no. The Jewish man thought it was an outrage and demanded why, so the bartender calmly explained to him that the Arian man was still using the restroom and that when he was finished the Jewish man was free to poo as he pleased.

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A red house is red. A blue house is blue. What color is the green house? Clear they are made of glass.

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she didn't have woman's rights Knock knock Who's there? NOT Sally, she's in the kitchen

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What a russian says to another russian? I don't know, but it must be somthing in russian.

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What are the things that define you? The things that define you.

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Why did the cow lay down? Because he was tired

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An octopus walks into a bar. The people in the bar, realizing the potential of danger, stand up and leave the bar quietly.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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