What do you call a young fortune teller who just escaped from jail? A small medium at large.

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A murderer takes you hostage. He lists three ways that you will die, but he lets you choose your death: 1. A bullet in your head. 2. A knife in your heart. 3. A lethal injection. What do you choose? It doesn't matter. You're dead.

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What band protects hope in current music? Nickelback.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue It is Valentines Day So I had to get them for you or we would get into a big fight, which will end up with me on the couch.

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My children are mistakes

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, The middle one's for you!

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Why did the man steal 2 watermelons? He was a shoplifter and had a background of crime

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What happend when Chuck Norris did a push up? He did one push up.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

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A man has 72 cookies, he eats 64 of them. What does he have left? Diabetes.

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Roses are red, Violets are blueish, Without Hitler, We'd all be Jewish.

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what do you call a cup?... a cup

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A person walked into a bar, he saw it was the wrong bar so he leaves...

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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Why can't an elephant smoke cigarettes? They do not posses the fine motor skills.

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Q: What do you call an elephant between two buildings? A: An elephant between two buildings, and the question of how the elephant got there

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What's the best position to be in while being attacked by a bear? invisible

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why did the fox jump over the pen ? it was tuesday

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What did the man say to his son? Hello, son.

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haha.

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Your argument is invalid, but I will allow you your opinion nonetheless.

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a blind guy walks past a fish market and exlaims.. "it smells like a fish market"

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs in a pool? A: A man with no arms or legs in a pool.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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