yo mama is so fat she went to the doctor and the doctor told her she had diabetes

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What do you give a Penn State waterboy for Halloween - Candy

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What's the difference between a jew and a boyscout? A boyscout comes back from camp.

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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? Fish

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What did the penis say to the vagina? Nothing, genitalia can't speak.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the chicken fall off the tree? It was stapled to the monkey.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Abstract thinking part one of... One: What kind of idiot tries to run trough a wall, rather than to just use the door? The "Idiot" is in a cell whose walls are made of thin wood plates, the door is made of steel and locked. How I cured my own damn anxiety five hundred of one: Now this is real see? I got stressed, damn it was like something that was not me but my body scared as shit began fearing for its life right my arms shaking like fuck sweat and all that crapa? So I got pissed got in front of the mirror, stared at myself and shouted "GODDAMN BODY YOU THINKS YOU CAN CONTROL ME? IF YOU DO NOT STOP BEING SO FUCKING AFRAID OF DEATH! THEN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!" So yeah unconventional indeed, but it worked for five times, and I never had to use it anymore. Moral: My own body and every fucking cell of it, is not the only one that fears me more than death.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Whos there? NOT SALLY.

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THere was three bees eating Honeynut cherrios one of them had a speech impediment.

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Why was the man so unhappy. he died

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What's black, white, and red all over? A white man's bleeding cancerous tumor.

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Hi! This is Richard Young, I'll take it from here Ms.Mcgruder, lets find a quiet place to talk about this, e.c. at 5:00 p.m. tomarrow.

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Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

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What does Osama Bin Laden and the typical Western man have in common? Extensively modern pornography collections.

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What's worse than throwing 8 babies off a cliff? Throwing 1 baby off a cliff.

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What did the woman do when her husband told her to make him a sandwich? She made him a sandwich promptly.

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An Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman walk into a bar. It happens frequently at UK airports.

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An octopus walks into a bar. The people in the bar, realizing the potential of danger, stand up and leave the bar quietly.

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What is Chuck Norris's favorite musical theme? Tanana na na naa naa na, ta ta ta tanana na naa na ta na na.

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A man walks into a car dealership. The salesman was nice and he bought a Mercedes.

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Why did the man pee his pants? Because he was paralyzed from the waste down and had no way of feeling

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How did Hitler die? He saw his gas bill

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Q: What do AIDS and rape have in common? A: If you play guard for the Lakers, neither will affect you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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