What did the husband tell his obese wife? I love you honey

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A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by it surroundings, and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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Q: How much does a hipster weigh? A: It varies largely by hipster, the same way it does with any other person.

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What did a cat said to another cat? Nothing because cata dont talk.

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Why did the jelly baby go to school? Because he was brought up in a middle class background and wanted a full education to further his future career

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What did the one man say to the other? Nothing, they didn't know eachother

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Roses are brown, violets are brown, who keeps shitting in my garden?

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Rebecca Black.

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Why didn't the Mammoth go to school? Because his species went extinct before the development of organized education. And he's also a Mammoth.

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why did the man paint his house? because he never wanted to paint his house

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Friends are like trees. They fall down when you hit them with an ax.

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- Knock Knock. - Who's there? - You're coming with me.

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What's better than Westboro Church? Committing over 9000 sins.

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Women

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why did jimmy fall off the swing? because he was a tree.

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What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can? The grief the family feels at the loss of their newborn child.

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why didn't the printer work? it was in the toilet.

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Why did the man drink water? Because he was thirsty

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It is green and it is attached to a fence? Green paint

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come along children

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A horse walks into a bar...n

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What's funny about a Jew, a Muslim, and a Christian going over the edge of a bridge in the same car? Nothing, they all died

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how do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the brake

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What is so sad about 5 black people going over a cliff in a Cadaliac? That was my Cadaliac

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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