A black guy walks into a bar with a beatiful parrot on his shoulder. "Wow," says the bartender. "That is really something. Where'd you get it?" The parrot was his fathers. Do to severe mental and physical illness, he can no longer take care of it. He asked his son to take it, those were his last words as he slipped into a coma

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

What do you call a black person trying to swim? Wet.

What do a grape and a reindeer have in common? They're both purple, except the reindeer.

Obama.

HTML

Two blonds are racing. Who wins? The first one to pass he finish line.

everyone's always talking about the emperor's clothes, don't they know this is murica

Why can't Jesus eat M&M's? Because they keep falling through the holes in his hands.

Why couldn't the little boy see anything? It was dark outside.

Q: What is long and hard? A: The gun used to kill my parents.

Roses are red, Violets are PURPLE.

Knock Knock. Whos there? Satan.

Why did Johnny buy the strawberry ice cream? Because when he gets the chocolate he vomits and bleeds out of his asshole.

What did the dead man say at his own funeral? Nothing, he's dead...

Q:how do you brighten up a room? A:you turn on the lamps

What did Tom get for Christmas? Gloves, but Tom had no arms. Knock knock? Who's there? NOT TOM

guns don't kill people. casey anthoney kills people.

your mom is so gay that...wrong, a homosexual women is considered a lesbian.

"And i look to myself what the hell happened to our world..."

Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere

What is worse worse than stubbing your toe? The Holocaust.

i said "what what in the butt, i said what what in the butt?"

So this is an anti-joke website, right?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...