how do you kill jesus? with a knife

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A Muslim blows up a bar

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Dementia Dementia who Knock, Knock

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A girlfriend scolds her boyfriend for "sitting on anti-joke all day." He then explains how it is impossible to sit on something that exists purely in digital form and instead noted it would be more correct to say sitting at a desk all day. She complied and saw the error of her ways.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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What did the bartender say to the midget as he entered the bar? Nothing besides attempting to serve him in the same manner as any other reveller whilst attempting to disguise his sense of pity for the midget's debilitating and somewhat stigmatised condition.

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What animal is green and eats a green rockeater? A green green rockeater eater. What animal is green and eats a green green rockeater eater? A frog.

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb. Two. But it would have to be a very big lightbulb to fit both of them in there.

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question! Feminists can't change anything.

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Why did Tommy cry? His tear glands emptied out of his eyes

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A man walks into a bar, his alcoholism is crippling his family.

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A black man, a jew and a racist walk into a bar, The racist proceeds to be a racist

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What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? A pilot.

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What's the difference between unicorns and black people? Years of slavery.

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Why did Billy fall down? Because his brain was replaced with a piece of toast.

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What's the leading cause of pedophilia? Sexy kids.

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Why couldn't the Asian reach the sink? Because he was a 4 year old boy, and was only about 3 feet tall.

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Q: What did the anorexic girl do for thanksgiving? A: Nothing, she was paralyzed from a fall 2 days prior and nobody had found her yet.

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Why'd Sam run away Because charlie bit his finger

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-Knock Knock -Who is it? -Your father, i forgot my keys.

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When I was at the beach digging in the sand I looked down and someone said nehow

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What is the same about a girrafe, and an ant? They are both REALLY tall. Except for the ant, sorry I lied.

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A guy named Dick goes into a bar and the barman says: - "hey, show my your dick" - "show you my what?" asks Dick. - "your dick!" - "oh! no, I'm shy"

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A baby seal walks into a club...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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