A simple country boy and a hugely attractive young blonde sit in the same train carriage. They exchange greetings and pleasentaries, but are quiet for the remainder of the journey.

thumb_up thumb_down

a duck walks in to a Chinese restaurant and the cut his head off

thumb_up thumb_down

The chicken crossed the road and died. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you get when you cross a lion with a rhinoceros? A trip to the hospital and animal cruelty charges.

thumb_up thumb_down

So this is an anti-joke website, right?

thumb_up thumb_down

What is fat and ugly? Your American MUM!

thumb_up thumb_down

You know George Washington? He died.

thumb_up thumb_down

one day tiarnan got banged by a goat

thumb_up thumb_down

So a man rapes a little girl but rips her eyes out before he does it. In court he said the appropriate thing about this was that she could not see it cuming.

thumb_up thumb_down

Pavel Novak

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some chapstick, put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because as all people know, Ducks cannot speak, however, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need chapstick anyway, since he has no lips.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the immigrants.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

So a magician was driving down the road and then he turned into a driveway!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A boss walks into a bar and hires the first man he sees. He fires everyone else, no matter what their occupation.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

If I crash my car, how many trees does it take to cover my yard in orange juice, yellow, because a cat pissed on my foot.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

42

thumb_up thumb_down -2

you will die someday

thumb_up thumb_down -2

you just lost the game!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you get when you cross an owl with a bungee cord? ...an owl with a bungee cord.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

whats sad about a jew in a gas tank? nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

why did oprah, your mother, and a monkey on a rock have in common? the ability to fornicate

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A man walks into a bar. Now, that's unheard of !

thumb_up thumb_down -6

there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why are there no Mexican people on Star Trek? Because the casting director screened thousands of actors and actresses and assembled what he/she felt was the most talented cast to create and sustain a long running television series. Unfortunately no one of Mexican dissent was awarded a role.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops