Why was 9 afraid of 1? Because when dialed together, an emergency call was most likely coming and 9 is very sensitive to those types of moments

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a big dick, Now suck it you fucking bitch!

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Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To hold their pants up.

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What is the difference between Batman and a black man? Their skin color and bank accounts.

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whats the boys name that has no legs no arms and no eyes? lucky

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Why are girls large and round? Because they are raised by wild packs of oompa loompas.

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Get in the van

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust.

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What Mary short for? Due to the fact she has no legs, on account of the flesh eating she contracted after a visit to argentina thanks to the make-a-wish foundation. Mary also has cancer

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a. get me a drink b. a would but but i got no arms

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the your face joke

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause your mom has cancer

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What is the difference between a Jew and pizza? a pizza doesn't yell when it goes into an oven

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Two black guys walk into a bar and arrest the under age drinkers

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A hot girl walks by a boy and he stares at her as she walks past. She see's him and asks "What are you looking at?", to which the boy replied "Oh I'm sorry. You happened to look familiar and I thought 'Perhaps I've met this person before. School? No. Work? No. I then concluded I've never seen you before and then you turned around and asked me what I was looking at".

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what's funnier than hell? heaven

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"Knock, Knock" "Go away, I have a lot of stuff to do right now and knock knock jokes suck."

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Life is like a box of chocolates. You eat them. get fat. Die.

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Your momma is so fat that when she steps on the scale it says 300 lbs.

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"I have some pretty bad news for you, but to ease into it, I will try to work it into a conversation." -Alright Doctor, let's try that." "Hey, how are you feeling today?" -"I feel great!" "That's odd, because you have leukemia..."

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Your not having a bad day, your just doing everything wrong!

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I'm not wearing underwear Why not Cause I have built in underwear

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I used to walk in front of archers, but then I took an arrow to the knee.

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Whats worse than getting negative 5 on your calculus test? Coming up positive on your Chlamydia test.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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