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Q: I am an over-protective father looking for my son who was kidnapped and am suddenly traveling with a mentally retarded woman who cant remember her name. By the way my wife was murdered and my son has physical disorder. Then, im hooked up with a hippy who doesnt care about anything. Who am I? A: Marlin the clownfish (from Finding Nemo).

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

A man. That is all.

Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because i was keeping his family at gun-point on the other side.

How do women learn to drive? Drivers ED.

How did the happy clown die? Testicular Cancer.

What did Gene give Carla for Christmas? AIDS

What do you call a black guy that sings? A singer.

What has four legs, its yellow with black spots, and can run as fast as a Cheetah? Another Cheetah

Q. How did Kit Kat candy bars get their name? A. It was chosen by manufacturer.

What happened to the black man when his alarm went off? He got up and took a shower. Then he got dressed and went to church because it was Sunday.

What do you call a kid with a peg leg and an eye patch? Names

What's one thing a black man can't have? White skin

Why did the black man win the race Because he was faster than all the other contestants

Go away.

What's worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm in it? Biting into you apple and finding two worms in it.

What's worst then lose 100$ Lose 101$

Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

If a wheel falls off a bus whilst travelling down a river, how long does it take to shingle a doghouse? None, because there are no bones in cottage cheese.

in 2001 a man was working happily in his office cubicle and got an email from his boss saying that he had great news for him. filled with excitment he knew he was getting A big promotion and could finally afford that new toy his kid has always wanted. Feeling great the man walks up to the office window to enjoy the view he notices a very large commercial airliner flying straight towards his office.

Q: Why did the horse put on cologne? A: He wanted to smell nice.

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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