knock knock whos there a duck a duck who QUACK!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are red, violets are blue, cheeseburger.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a female duck? A duck.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

your mom is so gay that...wrong, a homosexual women is considered a lesbian.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What is worse worse than stubbing your toe? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a deer with no eyes? A tragic accident waiting to happen.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down +3

So this is an anti-joke website, right?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why do you walk to your bed at night? Beds cant walk.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How does Ray Charles see? He doesn't, he plays piano.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did one cupcake say to the other cupcake? I want to eat you.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

So there's this bigass moose, and it goes in the store and it asks the lady bitch "where the potatoes at" and the lady bitch says "down aisle 5" so the moose goes down to isle 5 and there aint no potatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the penis cross the road? To get to the other vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Humpty Dumpty didn't fall I pushed him

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

I used to be a schizophrenic but we're okay now

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How do you keep a blonde occupied for hours? Put on an entertaining movie.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's the difference between a ferrari and a sack of babies? I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

-What's the difference between a frog? - it jumps higher.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a white man in the NBA? A really good basketball player

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the alien cross the road. To get to his ship.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

roses are black, violets are black, im sleeping

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What happens when you put a bunch of Republicans in a room together? They form a caucus.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie-roll center of a tootsie pop? It very depending on the amount of saliva produced in ones mouth..

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops