A man walks into a bar. End of story.

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What does a squirrel get when it rains? It gets wet.

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Why are white people typically not as good at basketball as black people? They don't have the hard work and dedication as those who are better.

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What happened when the princess kissed the frog? She died, the frog was highly toxic.

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While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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Why couldn't the 10 year old see the Pirate Movie? Because he was dead...

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Your mom is so fat, when she sat on a lump of coal she didn't realize she sat on a lump of coal.

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What do you call an insect that has 8 legs? A spider.

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Q: What do you call a ghost with a broken leg? A: Hoblin Goblin.

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Q: What came first, the chicken or the egg? A: The egg, dinosaurs reproduced long before chickens existed.

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Q: Ask me if I'm a tree. A: No, I am not a tree.

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What do you call a Colombian who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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I walked down the street. I picked up a quarter. It was shiny. Then I walked to school. I finished school, so I walked home, did my homework, and went to bed. Lesson learned: quadratic formula

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Do you know what Chuck Norris does for a living? He's an actor, I also heard he's quite good with martial arts.

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Q. What's brown and people don't care when they step on it? A. Dirt

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Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank

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How do you make the perfect anti-joke? Don't tell it.

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What does an Asian person with 3 eyes have? A birth defect.

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Why did the chicken attempt to cross the road? To retrieve his dead relatives in the middle of the street.

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Did you see Ray Charles's house? No. Yeah, neither did he.

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i like my women how i like my coffee ....i dont like coffee

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What did the lighthouse say to the tree? Nothing because they are both unatimate objects and cannot speak

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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