Someone once told me a joke. It was funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q: What did Helen Keller say to the bartender? A: "I would like a bud lite please" it was a different Helen Kellar

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do you call a file named pedo? A. Pedobear B. Toast C. Pedofile

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the man walk into a bar? I don't know? Ask him. by Burflared

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what do you call an asian flying a plane? a pilot

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Two gay men in a hottub. They relaxed for about half an hour before getting out and going to the bed, where they fell asleep.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Two friends not to far apart: A: Hey you, you hear me?! B: yes. A: You hear me?! B: yes!! A: You hear me?! B: yes, yes, what!?! A: You hear me?! B: YEEEEEEEES WHAT'S going on?!?! (gets upset) A: Nothing, I'm just checking your hearing.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

whats worse than flunking math? death.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call a dead black guy? A TERRIBLE CRIME

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's one thing a black man can't have? White skin

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what did the robot say to the centipede. Stop being a centipede!!!! Its funny because robots have arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

whats brown and black and sits in a tree...... a bird

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Two guys walk into a bar. You think the second one would've noticed and avoided it.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Whats ironic about the Facebook "like" button? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did Jesus say to the Easter Rabbit? Nothing, it ran off before he could say anything. They're so skiddish, those pesky rabbits...

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the boy commit suicide? Because he was bullied at school and felt it was the right decision.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do a bunch of dead babies look like in a blender? I don't know I was too busy masturbating.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Icecream

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I hate being bipolar, it's so awesome.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

BARRACK OBAMA.............WHAT A JOKE!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

here i am sitting here staring at the wall and beside me is a doll, oh no its moving, i hope it doesnt lick tht popsicle, oh no it just licked tht popsicle, oh no oh no

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Your computer will self - destruct in 5 seconds

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the girl with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer .

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops