I don't often drink beer. But when I do, I recklessly beat my wife and kids.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Roses are red Violets are blue Little billy was annoying me But he can't anymore Because now he's dead In a burlap sack In the back of my truck And it's really bloody back there

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Whats the difference between peanut butter and jam? I can't peanut butter my dick into someones ass

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why was the asian guy's eyes slanted? Your question is a very valid one that most people often wonder, but never really ask. It's called an epicanthal fold...please, NOT "slanted eyes". Many people consider this to be a derogatory description of the descendents or those of Eastern Asia (as do I, being half Korean), but most people are unaware of this and say it anyway. I'll assume you didn't know this. :) The epicanthal fold (what we have) is something that all babies are born with, but those who may not be of Eastern Asian origin will eventually lose. The purpose of this "fold" is to protect the eyes from extreme sunlight and cold weather. Most people of the this part of Asia originated in Mongolia where the weather conditions were very cold and harsh. Also, with most of this population, you'll notice that there exists some extra padding below the eyes as well. With all that white snow and the sunlight reflecting off of it, don't you think with time our bodies would develop some sort of defense for one of our most valued senses--our sight? It makes sense, doesn't it? Also, notice, that the farther south you travel in Eastern Asia the "rounder" the eye gets (their is less evidence of the epicanthal fold), since the climate gets warmer the farther south you go. Evolution, baby. So, Eastern Asian eyes are NOT really slanted. They just appear to be. Instead they just have that extra fold above the eyes that make them appear "thinner", if you will. If you want to sound halfway intelligent, please don't use the description "slanted eyes" anymore, since this will only make you seem like somewhat of a bigot (racist). (You might say it around the wrong person one day.) Sorry, but I'm just trying to give you some good advice. I hope I helped.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What's worse than getting stuck in traffic? AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

KEVIN HART

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why happened when a clothes line walked into a bar? He got hung over

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's better than winning the lottery? Winning it twice.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What did Jimmy get for his birthday? Nothing, he was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What is the best thing since sliced bread? Sliced butter.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What did the mute guy say to the deaf guy? *awkward silence* What did the deaf guy say to the mute guy? *Awkward silence....huh?*

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's the difference between Jews and boy scouts? Boy scouts come back from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

No, I don't have ADH...- Oh look, a butterfly!!

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the mute child say to his parents for the first time? "My head hurts" Doctors later found he had hypertensitive heart disease and an aneurysm in his brain. He died later that month.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What is worse then Hitler? Shelly's Cooking.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Never said that friend, anyway I got to put this down, people are asking why I am typing anti jokes. Well, they should all know how much I love spamming by now. ;). Now, you better do not have someone hack this site, it will be a hell of a lot easier explaining this, if this information is not recovered much later, days after getting hacked away. Give it three months, half a year or so, and I will contact you if you like. Have a nice day.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's the difference between a white person and a chair? -The chair isn't a complete douche.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's red and smells like cherries? Cherries

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q: What did Helen Keller say to the bartender? A: "I would like a bud lite please" it was a different Helen Kellar

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What is 69? A number that is before 70 and after 68

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Someone once told me a joke. It was funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops