your matriarchal component is so overweight that her body mass index is over the desired level for her height and age

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Connor "Rusty" McLeod

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your momma so ugly even she wouldnt date herself.

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What do you do when a guy pulls up in a van with piercings and a gay lisp, what do you do? Get in the van.

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What do you call 4 Mexicans hopping the border? 4 Mexicans in search of a better lifestyle from poverty.

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Two muffins were in an oven. Neither of them said anything because they are inanimate objects. After they were finished baking, they were pulled out and set to cool on a counter to be eaten at a later time.

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A Jew, a lesbian, and an Muslim walk into a bar. The bartender then cards them and sends them out because they're all under 21.

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What is worse than being ran over by a bus? Nothing really.

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what is white and sticky? glue.

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Why was the orphan crying? His parents were dead and his future was uncertain.

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Q:whats the easiest way to get crabs? A:at your local seafood market.

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The little mouse lifted the giant Elephant up so the Elephant could reach the bag of snacks, but then the Elephant said: I cant reach it, you must be tired so lets switch places... Squish: Squish! Elephant: Mouse! Where are you! *looks at "squish" NO! THIS WAS NOT THE WAY THE JOKE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE!!!!!!! Moral: Elephants cant talk...

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What's samller than a table but can't go under it? A baby with hay fork in his back.

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Where did Betsy go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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What is the biggest lie in the universe? I love you.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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What do you call five dogs with no balls? Five bitches.

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You know what's worse than finding a worm inside an apple? finding crack, too late to spit it out.

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An owl turns to the other owl. He has to, he can't move his eyes.

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A: Knock knock. B: Who's there? A: I am.

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a boy walks in a house and mother says hi who are you and the boy says does it really matter whad really maters is wht you will do about your dead son

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- If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. - You don't need to because N and O are already together. - Then maybe a cyber-relationship would work. - Why ? - Look at your keyboard, U and I are next to each other.

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Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because its head is so far away from its shoulders.

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You wanna hear a JOKE !?? Justin Bieber has a DICK !!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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