One day three men died. Heaven had almost been full, and he wanted to see who could get in and who would burn. So the first man starts and says "well I just got home from my girlfriends house, she just dumped me. I was crazy mad, and as I was about to eat the pain away, I saw a man hanging off of my porch. I ran to the man pulled out a sledge hammer, and then smashed his hands off the balcony. And without thinking I picked up my refrigerator and threw it down at him. But sadly I fell with the refridgerator." the second man steps up and says.. "I was doing my dance routine on my porch, and I slipped on an ice cube and flipped off the rail. I took ahold of a railing on which I could puulmupmtomsaftey on, but as I was about to save my own life some psychotic man comes out with a sledge hammer and bashes my hands off the railing. After he threw his refridgerator down at me." and then the third guy says..."well I was in this refridgerator........."

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What's a thither? My sister with a lisp.

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how do you call a boomerang that does not come back? - a stick

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how do you kill a mexican? make him go to the cicus

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whats better than a dead baby..... wait..... whats worse than a dead baby...... never mind its not that funny anymore

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whats the difference between a jew and a boyscout? A boyscout comes home from camp.

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Why don't you have a seat, over there?

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What did the man who was punched in the throat say to his friend?

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guns don't kill people. casey anthoney kills people.

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Why does a chicken lay an egg? If she'd throw it, it would break.

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Do you wanna build a snowman? Person: do you wanna live * or nah

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A man farted. Another man walked away.

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Bob (laughing): Jared fell off of a cliff Jim: What's so funny about that? Bob: Nothing. I'm laughing at the girl that just fell out of a tree into a giant tub of peanut butter!!!

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21

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Why did a hipster walks into a health food store? To buy some healthy food.

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What is the difference between a black man and a bike? Bikes are not human beings and therefore cannot experience the ups and downs a human being experiences.

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a light bulb? To get to the other side!

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The fitting room is a lie. Nothing fit me at all.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends on gender and environment, but a fully grown, adult, male polar bear weighs from 800 to 1600 pounds.

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nine...eleven

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What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.

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Two Jewish men walk into a butcher shop. They don't buy any pork because that is a fundamental dietary restriction placed upon by their religion.

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Superman: Batman, can you drive? Batman: No, but I can drive the batmobile.

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what do you call a duck with no legs? a sitting duck

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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