What do you sit on, sleep on and brush your teeth with? A chair, a bed, and a toothbrush

What do you get when you cross an octopus with a camel? Nothing, inter-species breeding is impossible.

Why did the cancerous elephant cross the road?

A man was walking outside at night and he heard thunder and saw lighting so he took out a metal pole.

Hi colton

what do you call a needle with two heads? a two headed needle

wuts at the end of the world? nothing the earth is spherical and therefore does not have an end

roses are red violets are blue god made me pretty what happened to you?

What's the difference between above job and below job? Below job sucks

tim rafter died no one cared

Why did the man throw the clock out the window? The man's loving family had recently been murdered, and the clock was a constant reminder of their mortality, as it had served as the center of those horrific events.

Why don't rhetorical questions need answers? Because that is what makes them rhetorical.

Q: How did the blonde commit suicide? A: She shot herself in the head.

A straight man walks into a lesbian bar. He quickly realizes his mistake and leaves.

What's meaty and has a poof? A meatball with a bubble.

A man walks into a bar. Now, that's unheard of !

So a man dipped his balls in sloppy joe sauce.

brett is a dick

Roses are green Violets are green I'm colour blind Everything is green

I dream of a world where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned

A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I will ask you one question, and that will determine whether you can enter Heaven." The man nods nervously. St. Peter asks, "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

I used to be a schizophrenic but we're okay now

Your mama's so fat, she's dead!

i fondle myself every night....

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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