Doctor, Doctor I keep getting pains in the eye when I drink coffee! It's not the coffee, you have a deadly case of ocular melanoma, a form of cancer that affects the eye. You'll be blind within the next 24 hours.

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Yo mama is so fat, that she recieves an allowance due to being physically disabled.

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why don't you make like a tree. and get out of here

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Whos there? NOT SALLY.

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whats worse than flunking math? death.

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i yoused to cry a little when i laughed . then i got raped by a clown.

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What did the black man say when he received cold fried chicken at a restaurant? He very politely asked for it to be warmed up, and exuded nothing but elegance and class.

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... and so the rabbi says "Don't worry. It was a kosher pickle anyway."

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What do you call two homosexuals in fancy hats? It depends, you have to ask their names first.

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what does chuck norris use to cut scissors? another scissor.

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Q:whats the diffrence between a mexican and a deer A:one is a mexican and the other one is a deer

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Why can't Jesus eat M&M's? Because they keep falling through the holes in his hands.

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cut it out ..but i dont have a scissor

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I like my women like I like my coffee... Without a penis.

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why is the grass green? all the other colors in the electromagnetic spectrurm are absorbed except for green which is reflected and thats the only visable color

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How many women does it take to change a lightbulb? None, let the bitch cook in the dark.

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What did the Irisman say to the bartender? Don't know? i don't speak Irish?

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Bobby walked into a bar. He was then escorted out of the bar and arrested because he was underage.

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What walks like a duck, talks like a duck, but doesn't look like a duck? A horse named Quackie

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An Arab walks into a bar. He then blows up the bar.

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Why did the blonde cross the road? Because she was stupid.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Dead Babies

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American Idol

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Whats white and cant fly an aeroplane? A fridge

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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